Smiling Moose brings Great Joy

So, now that I've finally boarded the blog train, I began to wonder just how structured I wanted this venture to be.  Do I have a random ramblings type thing, an outlined structure, a mish mash of the two? Should I go about it in some type of chronological order? After thinking about it, I've decided to just follow whatever my gut was telling me to share on that given day.  So, I guess we'll end up with the mish mash of topics with a splash of organization to reign in my admittedly wordy, rambling prose.  So, thinking about a general structure, I came up with the following format (which I reserve the right to change at any time due to suggestions from my readers, my own whims, the moon cycle, etc.).  In other words, don't hold me to this.

Personal Story --This could be a general life related or specific health related topic depending on my mood, the wind direction, and how hungry I am at the time. You know, random.   My real hope is that this section proves a cathartic place where I can examine my life and when lucky, maybe even impart some wisdom I've gained through my experiences that may help you.

Gather Round the Fire - Research and/or Guinea Pig Experiments That Might be of Some Benefit to Someone Out There.  I've been searching for answers my whole life.  Through reading, research, and practical applications.  I'm hoping I might be able to provide you with a new or different viewpoint, methodology, insight, or just something you can try out & see if it's of help to you in your journey.

Daily A-Moose-Ments: I am a big believer that laughter is the best medicine.  Laughter has gotten me through some of the most harrowing times in my life.  Laughter has bonded me with other individuals that I might otherwise never have formed a connection with at all, and laughter is good for the soul.  Who doesn't like to laugh?

Daily Discussion Topic/Question - Because I want to hear from you, my readers! I really do! Please take a moment to comment below if there is anything you'd like to share, whether an opposing viewpoint, an alternative therapy you've had success with, a favorite joke, or just to introduce yourself.  I'd love for this blog to be interactive.  In this life, I've studied countless books and periodicals, but some of the best information I've ever received has been from the people I come into contact with and admittedly, most of those people I know only through this great tool, the internet. 

So, now that the boring stuff is out of the way, on with today's post.  You may stop holding your breath now.  You know that's not healthy, right? :D

Today's Personal Story
I mentioned in yesterday's post that I have a 24 year old daughter.  She is the light of my life and has been the number one reason I've busted my fanny to stick around when the odds have not been in my favor.  Her name is Somer.  It's pronounced like the season, but is actually the Old English word meaning "beautiful." And she is beautiful, inside & out.  Allow this mom to brag about her kid on her own blog, please.  I promise not to lay it on too thick.  I'm aware she's not perfect.  Just as I'm not. 

Anyhoo, if you're good with math (which if you are, I might hit you up on some tips someday), you will deduce that I had her when I was a young babe o' the woods of just 19 years old.  The way in which she was conceived is not something I wish to delve into today.  Or the painful years dealing with the fallout of those circumstances.  Someday, I might.  Because I think I might be able to help someone else out there who has gone through or is going through something similar.  But, today's just not that day.

No, today, I want to focus solely on the joy of being a mom.  I always knew I wanted children.  Six, in fact.  I love children.  I love to embrace my inner child.  And I have been in love with my future grandchildren since my daughter first started carting around her various baby dolls.

So, it is with great happiness that I tell you my one & only, my precious daughter, is going to make me a grandmother within the next few weeks. It's a girl! And she will be named after my own dear grandmother, Naomi.  I'm thrilled to pieces! It's this miracle that has driven me to work so hard this past year to overcome some nearly impossible odds so that I'll be able to hold my precious little angel & play with her & watch her grow.  It is my fondest wish to be around for all her major & minor milestones.

My daughter, Somer, relaxing in the pool at my house during my belated birthday party.

Tomorrow is the baby shower that I and my mother were to throw for her.  I was able to spend the week at my parents' house week before last to pick out the theme, buy decorations, come up with a menu & game ideas, fill out & send the invitations.  But, then I fell & broke my ankle.  And this leg must be raised above my heart for at least one more week. And I'm not allowed to travel the 1.5 hours there with my leg hanging down, much less find a place to lie down with my leg raised in the air during the event & then make the trek back home.  All that would put me in danger of losing the functionality of my right leg.  Something that I can't afford to risk, since my left leg is non functioning. (More on my extensive medical woes in a later post).

I hope you have a fantastic baby shower, baby girl(s)!

Anyway, I was feeling pretty down about missing out & also about not being there to help my elderly, sick mother & father get this party set up. Here's today's lesson I re-learned: I cannot change what is.  I can only change my reaction to it.  So, I allowed myself to grieve & threw a minor pity party involving some chocolate ice cream.

Gather 'round the Fire
Life can suck.  Because, that's life sometimes.  Sometimes in the midst of happiness, an unfortunate event occurs.  And sometimes during the bleakest of times, a miracle occurs.  And I have come to realize that things happen for a reason.  I don't yet know what many of those reasons are, but I know they exist. But I know one way of coping in the meantime. Get busy.  Busy minds don't have a chance to brood.  One way I've used through the years to keep busy is with art therapy.  Now, you don't have to be good at it.  You just have to do it.  Trust me, it can take your mind so far away from your body that you forget time, space, and most of all, pain.

Today, I got  busy doing some touch up work on some pictures for Naomi.  During my recent stay in the physical rehab hospital, I was trying to get my fine motor skills back in my right hand.  I had over time lost a lot of functionality of my dominant right arm & hand.  After surgery, it was like having a noodle attached to my shoulder.  No grip, very little gross motor skills, and very tenuous fine motor skills. 

Although the facility is one of the top 10 in the nation, and they are fantastic at what they do, I wanted to do something on my own time that I love that could also serve as a therapy tool.  So, with shaky fingers, I picked up my new pens & began practicing to draw again.  After several pages of squiggles and lines and general doodles, I came upon what I'd like to draw.  A bird.  Not just any bird, though.  I wanted to draw a bird whose fanciful lines & beautiful feathers would evoke a sense of wonder & hope in those who viewed it. 

What would have taken me just a couple of hours to draw before I lost my functionality, took 9 days and many, many hours.  But, in the end I had something I was proud of.  And my fingers were relearning some important movements.  For kicks, I sent an image of the picture to my daughter to see if she liked it.  She immediately responded that not only did she like it, but that she wanted it!  And could I make more like it?  Ah, a purpose! Just what everyone who is recovering from a traumatic life change needs.  This purpose continued to carry me through many months of therapy. And it helped fill the long, often lonely hours spent in the sterile hospital room and later my own bedroom during weeks of nights & day hours I could not find sleep.

So, with a new purpose, I decided then & there that this would be my gift to my future granddaughter.  A keepsake set of pictures of fanciful birds.  A keepsake that I put all my positive energy into.  I'm proud of these drawings for I know what I put into them.  Many people have remarked that they think they're wonderful.  Even though I'm hyper aware of each flaw as my hand shook & I had to reshape & reroute the drawing to correct these errors, I'm still proud that others appreciate them as well.  But, I really have only one hope - that Naomi grows up looking at those pictures, knowing that I made them just for her, and even a fanciful notion that some of that positive & hope filled emotion somehow gets transmitted to her.

That's my personal story/life lesson for today.  I always need a good reminder of this lesson.  It's entirely too easy to slip into despair when life keeps throwing seemingly random, often hurtful and damaging challenges your way.  I have conquered.  I will conquer.  And, if by some chance, you're out there feeling blue about how life is treating you lately, maybe you can take a note from this blog article and find something in your deepest self that will help you find solace.  Find a purpose.  It may not resemble anything you've ever done before.  It may be frightening to begin.  But if you do this, and I dearly hope you do, you will find not only great joy, but a sense of pride.  Pride that has been stripped from you through forces you have no control over.  And in this, you will conquer.

Daily A-Moose-Ment:

A smiling MOOSE! And this guy - he looks like he's simultaneously thrilled & terrified that a giant smiling moose has stopped to take a photo op.  This gave me a smile today.  I hope you get one from it, too.

Discussion Question(s) of the Day
Have you faced a challenge (health or otherwise) that you were able to overcome despite the odds?  What was it? How did you handle it?  Have you tried art therapy? Or, you can simply pop in to say hello!  Comment below.  I'd love to hear from you.